THE WAR GAME.

[The Standard Correspondent eavs that America has recently produced a new weapon—the “ Lyman-Haskell Accelerating Multicharge Gun,” and a torpedo with a dynamite charge, called “ The Destroyer.”]
These are piping times of peace, but our armaments increase,
And how heedl ully each nation strives to keep its powder dry. Lo! the German glowers at Trance, who returns the warlike glance, With a thought of what may happen in Lothringen by-and-by.
We it seems are just as bad with each mighty iron-clad,
With the fearsome guns of Fraser known as “ Woolwich Infants ”
grand,
With torpedo-boats that go ’neath the water at the foe,
And our terrible projectiles that fly far o’er sea and land. Now America awakos, and wo find her crying, “ Snakes!
Shall the stranger beat the Yankee, and haul down the starry Hag ? Here’s the Lyman-HaskeB gun whips the English eighty-one,
And it goes off with four charges—that’s our plan of playing ‘ Brag.’
“ Then our new torpedo-boat beats all other craft afloat,
Tor it Bends the deadly missile full six hundred yards and more ; ‘ The Destroyer ’ it is hight, with its charge of dynamite,
And ’twill serve to warn the foemen off our well-protected shore.” Thus all nations arm apace and press forward in the race
Tor the deadliest of weapons and for armaments of might; And poor Peace exclaims, “ Ah, me ! shall I one day have to flee p Do these warlike preparations not forebode a futuro light ? ”
Uuker Sort of Sport,—“ Shooting Gaiters.”
LEON AND THE LITTLE ’UNS.
M. Leon Gamhetta, failing to obtain the best men for his Cabinet, has, faute tie mieux, chosen some Gam-better men. The projected Grand Ministere doesn’t appear, but the Leon has his jacktds-inoflice about him, and that will suffice. They form, doubtless, a loyal,
though not a Grand Ministere, of which it may be said, parodying Polonius:—
“ ’Tis true ’tis petit, tres petit: tho’ petit ’tis, ’tis true.”
As interested but unprejudiced spectators of the new drama, we withhold our applause until the first genuine Hit shall have been made. Will the Author and Star Actor pose as a Chasseur d’Afrique p Well, chorus, Gentlemen, if you please :—
“ Leon s’en va-t-il en guerre ?
Mironton, Mironton, Mirontaine ! Mais,, sans le Grand MinistSre
L’Etat—e’est Gamlet-s! ! ”
French, and English Duelling.
Duelling exists in England, as it does in Trance, but it follows the lines of English cookery. There is a touch of “ Bleeding Beef”
about it. Yesterday, M. Patti, be Cassagnac fought his sixteenth duel without injury, his opponent, M. de Montebello, being wounded, but not as much injured as he would have been by drink
ing the champagne which bears his name. In England, John Henry Beedham and James Newman fought their first duel with fists, the cause of quarrel being the guilt or innocence of the penniless Lefkoy.
Beedham was killed, according to the English fashion—the fashion of mad bulls. In Trance they fight like dancing-masters and gentlemen.

OUT OF IT.

Miss Ladoosh. ‘‘Oh, look, Palladia! The two great Scientists of the Day in earnest and intimate communion ! How BEAUTIFUL IT WOULD BE TO HEAR THEIR CONVERSATION ! HOW I envy Mrs. Lyon Hunter’s Butler ! ”
Miss Meagrim. ‘‘Oh yes/ demolishing some time-honoured, out-worn Creed in every sentence ! How they would appreciate Women like you and me, Cynthia!”
Mr. Professor. “ Mrs. Ponsonby de Tomkyns 1 I should think so ! The dearest creature that ever lived ! Such a thorough Woman of the World, you know ! Tells such capital Stories, and gives such capital Dinners ! ”
M. le Professeur. “He, he ! and sow vell she dress! And she Dance like an Angel ! And vat a sharrming Figure ! and vat a pretty Foot ! Hein, mon Ami?