VERY LIKE A WAIL.
[The Leeds Mercury believes that the Government havo decided not tc attempt this year to deal with the water-supply of the Metropolis.]
I’m very fond of water, but it’s really sad to know.
The harmful stuff that a now supplied is likely still to flow ; In vain I seek the liquid that contains no evil thing,
If not polluted in the pipes, ’tis poisoned at the spring; ’Twill drive me to take alcohol, for what’s a man to do Without a good and pure supply of limpid OH2 ?
I’ve borne the London water long and known, whene’er I quaffed The tumbler, that Qennaro-like I drank a Borgia draught; I knew, no matter though it shone with effervescence fair,
That all the strange organio germs of fell disease were there ;
And still 1 risked my preeious life and drank it morn and night.
And hoped to live to see the day when ’twould he pure and bright. What matter though the potion reeked of deadly sewer gas,
Though mycrozymos and annelids were swarming in the glass; The Daphnia quadrangula, or festive water-flea,
With Cyclops quadricornis came, and all were dear to me :
For I had hopes of cheerful draughts on some fine future days, When London Water Companies would mend their sinful ways.
But now the future all is dark, and typhoid fever seems A visitor we must expect—I see it in my dreams.
The cholora can not he long, ’twill come with all the rest, And each zymotic dread disease wiU he a welcome guest; For London Water Companies aro unmolested still,
To let their fearsomo fluid run and poison us at will.
PHILANTHROPIC MUSIC-HALLS.
When the old “ Vic.” was turned into a Music-Hall under the management of a Company who endeavoured to combine honevolence,
amusement, temperance, and dividends, the great mistake was made of not recognising the fact that to supplant existing institutions, you must compote with existing institutions. Within a stone’s throw of
the place is an old-established Temperance Music-Hall, which they will find it very difficult to heat either in coffee or amusement; at all events, they have not done it as yet. Even the well-wishers of the new Victorian Era of Musio-HaUs were disappointed by the results, though they could not have anticipated any great success. The Hall was more or less closed for a time, but it is now re-opened with an entertainment which covers every night in the week and
Saturday afternoon, and in which too much appears to he sacrificed for Thursday-night concerts that wero started “ under the patronage ” of Royalty.
We are honestly interested in the real improvement of this class of entertainment; and with a stage and building such as the New “ Vie.” possesses, it ought, with judicious management, to he at the head of the London Music-Halls. At present it most decidedly is not. The programme before us states that thero are “ a thousand seats at threepence,” and “ a thousand at sixpence,” the other prices ranging from a shilling to a guinea. On Thursdays sixpence extra is charged for the eigliteenpenny Stalls, and on Saturdays the stagedoor opens at 6 30, when threepence extra is charged for the privi
lege, we suppose, of passing through it to the interior. This scale of prioes does not appear to us to he regulated by any peculiarly philanthropic spirit, or by any great trading wisdom; and the Committee,” as we said once before, seem at present to be only paving the New Cut with good intentions.
HELEN OF WALDECK. A Song for the Loyal Betrothal.
Helen of Waldeck! Say what rhyme Best may hymn the betrothal time. Once a Prince, in fortunate hour, Came to wToo at Arolsen tower ;
Wooed and. won, and. then rode away, Leaving his love behind, men say.
Princess Helena, fast you hold All the heart of our Leopold !
Helen of Waldeck ! Thou hast won England’s cultured and student son ; His the part that his father took, Earnest ever at desk and book ; His to rule with an eager heart Over the wide domain of Art; Thine to aid like a loyal wife,
All that’s best in a husband’s life.
Helen of Waldeck ! When our strand Welcomes thee from the Fatherland,
When all the last fareweUs have rung On thine ears in the Teuton tongue, Trust us, thou wilt never repine
Leaving the land of haunted Rhine. Here is a greeting, frank and free, Waiting tnee, Princess, over sea !
Medical Carlyle.
Everybody will rejoice to hear that the decease of Sir George Sartorius, Admiral of the Fleet, aged ninety-one, lately reported, is a canard. By the latest
account, the venerable Admiral, though he had not quite recovered from an attack of illness, was improving daily. Health speedily restored to Admiral Sartorius, may his recovery reflect credit on his medical at
tendants in constituting a splendid case of Sartorius Resartus.
What! Jamais P
There is something in a name sometimes. The Commander of the garrison at Sfax is, it appears, one Colonel
Jamais. Think of the saying of time and notepaper that might be effected at the critical moment when the garrison is called upon to surrender. All the Colonel has to do is write his name on a slip of paper and hand it to messenger. If the request was likely to he repeated more than once, he might have his signature Sfax-similied.
BEHIND THE SCENES.
Head Barmaid. “ These Tarts are quite stale, Miss Hunt—been on the Counter for a Fortnight ! Would you mind taking them into the Second-Class Refreshment-Room ?
[The Leeds Mercury believes that the Government havo decided not tc attempt this year to deal with the water-supply of the Metropolis.]
I’m very fond of water, but it’s really sad to know.
The harmful stuff that a now supplied is likely still to flow ; In vain I seek the liquid that contains no evil thing,
If not polluted in the pipes, ’tis poisoned at the spring; ’Twill drive me to take alcohol, for what’s a man to do Without a good and pure supply of limpid OH2 ?
I’ve borne the London water long and known, whene’er I quaffed The tumbler, that Qennaro-like I drank a Borgia draught; I knew, no matter though it shone with effervescence fair,
That all the strange organio germs of fell disease were there ;
And still 1 risked my preeious life and drank it morn and night.
And hoped to live to see the day when ’twould he pure and bright. What matter though the potion reeked of deadly sewer gas,
Though mycrozymos and annelids were swarming in the glass; The Daphnia quadrangula, or festive water-flea,
With Cyclops quadricornis came, and all were dear to me :
For I had hopes of cheerful draughts on some fine future days, When London Water Companies would mend their sinful ways.
But now the future all is dark, and typhoid fever seems A visitor we must expect—I see it in my dreams.
The cholora can not he long, ’twill come with all the rest, And each zymotic dread disease wiU he a welcome guest; For London Water Companies aro unmolested still,
To let their fearsomo fluid run and poison us at will.
PHILANTHROPIC MUSIC-HALLS.
When the old “ Vic.” was turned into a Music-Hall under the management of a Company who endeavoured to combine honevolence,
amusement, temperance, and dividends, the great mistake was made of not recognising the fact that to supplant existing institutions, you must compote with existing institutions. Within a stone’s throw of
the place is an old-established Temperance Music-Hall, which they will find it very difficult to heat either in coffee or amusement; at all events, they have not done it as yet. Even the well-wishers of the new Victorian Era of Musio-HaUs were disappointed by the results, though they could not have anticipated any great success. The Hall was more or less closed for a time, but it is now re-opened with an entertainment which covers every night in the week and
Saturday afternoon, and in which too much appears to he sacrificed for Thursday-night concerts that wero started “ under the patronage ” of Royalty.
We are honestly interested in the real improvement of this class of entertainment; and with a stage and building such as the New “ Vie.” possesses, it ought, with judicious management, to he at the head of the London Music-Halls. At present it most decidedly is not. The programme before us states that thero are “ a thousand seats at threepence,” and “ a thousand at sixpence,” the other prices ranging from a shilling to a guinea. On Thursdays sixpence extra is charged for the eigliteenpenny Stalls, and on Saturdays the stagedoor opens at 6 30, when threepence extra is charged for the privi
lege, we suppose, of passing through it to the interior. This scale of prioes does not appear to us to he regulated by any peculiarly philanthropic spirit, or by any great trading wisdom; and the Committee,” as we said once before, seem at present to be only paving the New Cut with good intentions.
HELEN OF WALDECK. A Song for the Loyal Betrothal.
Helen of Waldeck! Say what rhyme Best may hymn the betrothal time. Once a Prince, in fortunate hour, Came to wToo at Arolsen tower ;
Wooed and. won, and. then rode away, Leaving his love behind, men say.
Princess Helena, fast you hold All the heart of our Leopold !
Helen of Waldeck ! Thou hast won England’s cultured and student son ; His the part that his father took, Earnest ever at desk and book ; His to rule with an eager heart Over the wide domain of Art; Thine to aid like a loyal wife,
All that’s best in a husband’s life.
Helen of Waldeck ! When our strand Welcomes thee from the Fatherland,
When all the last fareweUs have rung On thine ears in the Teuton tongue, Trust us, thou wilt never repine
Leaving the land of haunted Rhine. Here is a greeting, frank and free, Waiting tnee, Princess, over sea !
Medical Carlyle.
Everybody will rejoice to hear that the decease of Sir George Sartorius, Admiral of the Fleet, aged ninety-one, lately reported, is a canard. By the latest
account, the venerable Admiral, though he had not quite recovered from an attack of illness, was improving daily. Health speedily restored to Admiral Sartorius, may his recovery reflect credit on his medical at
tendants in constituting a splendid case of Sartorius Resartus.
What! Jamais P
There is something in a name sometimes. The Commander of the garrison at Sfax is, it appears, one Colonel
Jamais. Think of the saying of time and notepaper that might be effected at the critical moment when the garrison is called upon to surrender. All the Colonel has to do is write his name on a slip of paper and hand it to messenger. If the request was likely to he repeated more than once, he might have his signature Sfax-similied.
BEHIND THE SCENES.
Head Barmaid. “ These Tarts are quite stale, Miss Hunt—been on the Counter for a Fortnight ! Would you mind taking them into the Second-Class Refreshment-Room ?