FOR THE HOT-HEADED.
De. D. G. F. Macdonald writes“ If men would place ferns, or cabbage leaves, in tbe crown of their hats, or plait rushes, vetches, or green herbaceous substance of some kin I around their headgear,
there would bo fewer cases of sun-stroke. This preventive is within the reach of the poorest peasant, for it costs nothing.”
A LAST WORD ABOUT EVANS’S.
Evans’s has been gradually disappearing, now it has gone. So too, alas ! have vanished the days of our boyhood when, on the even
ings of the Public School Matches, we in Eton jackets visited Paddy Green, and were treated to potatoes in their jackets too, which latter were not eaten. Talking of the skins reminds us of the celebrated Skinner, model of head-waitors, standing at the door in his shirt
sleeves, and conducting a strict and searching inquiry in the following style:—
“What have you had, Sir?” “A chop and potatoes,” replied the guest. “ Chop and potatoes, two-and-three. Any stout ? ” “ Yes,” the guest would reluctantly admit, “ I had a glass or two of stout.” “Two stouts is eight, chop and potatoes three-and-two, and eight is four-and-four,” said Skinner with the rapidity of a calculating boy. “Any liquors—brandy, whiskey?” Here the guest would hesitate, ana then it occurred to him that he had had two glasses of whiskey. “ And water ? ” demanded Skinner,
severely, as if it were no good attempting to deceive him. “Yes, and water,” replied the guest, quite alarmed at his questioner’s intimate knowledge of his doings.
Skinner went ahead faster than ever. “ Chop and potatoes, fourand-three; two stouts—eight, five-and-four; two whiskies-and
water, that’s eight-and-four ; and,”—as an after-thought,—“ any bread ? ” “ No,” the victim would reply, triumphantly, as though
he had him there, and he was wrong for once. “No, no bread.” “No bread,” echoed Skinner. “That’s nine-and-two exactly. Half-a-sovereign? Thank you, Sir; much obliged. Good night.
Sir,” and the guest was pushed forward by the eager orowd of customers waiting to settle with the indefatigable Mr. Skinner.
Funny place in old times was Evans’s ; the supper was good of its kina, the comic singing was not the best of its kind; but the real harmonies of the evening, “ The Hardy Horseman “ The Chough and Crow, My Gabrielle,” sung by the choristers, men and boys, were most enjoyable. When Eve was allowed to enter that Paradise, there was an end of the little Evans s below.
A French Eviction.
“ It is supposod that Don Carlos was ordered to quit France in consequence of his attitude at a religious ceremony on St. Henri’s day.” What was his attitude ? Probably agenouille, but not to be tolerated by a Republican Government, which, were it strong and popular, could permit twenty such Pretenders to remain
in France. Communists avoid such “attitudes,” and so are not interfered with. Poor Don Key-arlos 1
RULES OF THE RIVER. (As they Are, and ought Not to he.)
Steam Launches.
As you will go faster than anybody else, you can chaff those you pass by to your heart’s content. Compliment rowers on their cos
tume, ask them where they get their hats, and how much they paid for them; give them a few hints on rowing, such as “That’s the real military style of pulling.” “Now then, Hanlon, look alive!” “Jerk it out, old Beefy!” and “Time, Gentlemen, time! Look sharp there No. 2!”
Should any Gentleman be rowing with his wife, or sisters, or cousins and aunts, you, still on the going-faster-than-they theory,
must pay them those attentions which are so dear to the opposite sex. Smile affably at the Ladies, wink, kiss your hand, ask them whether they enjoyed themselves at the Aquarium last night, and invite them to throw old Stick-in-the-Mud over, and come on board with you.
Waste nothing. Even a cherry-stone deftly shot between the thumb and. first finger at an oarsman’s faoe, may, if it hit him hard enough, animate him in his efforts and cause him to accelerate his speed. And the jov with which the patient angler regards an empty cham
pagne bottle hurled at his float for ground-bait is, as a rule, too great to be expressed in words.
You cannot be too cautious. You are compelled to whistle while rounding a point, and before approaching a look. But don’t stop then. Whistlo the whole time you are in a look. _ Whistle when you pass a church, provided it is Sunday and there is service going on. Whistle at all pic-nic parties. This will cause them to think that their boats are being run down, and the rapture which will follow on the discovery of the safety of their craft, will well repay you, specially if the wind is in the right direction, and the men very ill-tempered.
Never go too fast. In the daytime the river is crowded with boats, therefore, for their sake, never exceed six miles an hour. At night
time, however, when the river is empty, go as hard as you can. Should anyone complain that his starboard scull is broken, and his boat stove in, give him the address of the nearest place where the Royal Humane Society’s drags are kept, and tell him, with that in
effable politeness which should always distinguish you, that you
would be only too delighted to stop and pick him up yourself, but you must catch the 10 15 train from Hampton Court.
Be very select in your company. Avoid rowdiness. Fill your launch with ! quiet, gentlemanly persons, who wear white hats with black bands on the side of their heads, who will toss for “ a bottle ”
at ten in the morning, and will take 6 to 4 about anything so long as the proper price is even money. Be yet more careful about the Ladies you ask for your trip. Let them be vividly golden as to their hair, and their faces protected from the river breeze by a positively lavish use of bismuth, kohl, rouge, and poudre de riz.
Sailing-Boats.
Says that capital little work, The Rowing Almanack, published by our friendly contemporary and contemporaneous friend, The Field, “ A row-boat must give way to a sailing-boat.” So must a steamlaunch. Therefore you can do as you dam please.
Row-Boats.
As soon as you approach the river leave all vestiges of decency behind. At home you may be, and probably are, an in-bed-by-eleven young man, and never-get-tight young man; but forget that. Row m a costume which, if you bathed in it in France, would bring the police down upon you in fifteen seconds.
“ Sasiety is sasiety,” said Thackeray. Belong to a good Club, and never mind whether it is a rowing one or not. The colours of I Zingari are tasty. Wear a cap and jacket of them. Should any
one ask whether you are entitled to do so, ask him whether that is his business.
The primary object of rowing is health. Therefore pull up to every public-house on the river-side, where you will immediately take another long pull, and a strong pull. Remember that every doctor admits that with hard exercise you can take far more stimu
lants than are admissible to one engaged in sedentary occupations. Rowing is a sedentary pursuit, by the bye; but still it is a pursuit.
It is a pursuit of health. You are always trying to come up with health well ahead. Seventeen pots of shandygaff, and a variety of stimulants, can do no one any harm who is in good condition. Be
winning in your ways with Barmaids ; and as “ swagger ” gives you an air of real importance, go in for “side”—river-side, of course.
(To be continued.)
A propos du Temps.—An unusually hot knight,—Sir Don up
Currie.
Japanese Fan-cy Dress.
The Watering-Pot Hat.
The Refrigerator
Costume.
In-fern-ally hot!
The Borage, or Insidor- Cup Hat.
Mr. Leafy.
De. D. G. F. Macdonald writes“ If men would place ferns, or cabbage leaves, in tbe crown of their hats, or plait rushes, vetches, or green herbaceous substance of some kin I around their headgear,
there would bo fewer cases of sun-stroke. This preventive is within the reach of the poorest peasant, for it costs nothing.”
A LAST WORD ABOUT EVANS’S.
Evans’s has been gradually disappearing, now it has gone. So too, alas ! have vanished the days of our boyhood when, on the even
ings of the Public School Matches, we in Eton jackets visited Paddy Green, and were treated to potatoes in their jackets too, which latter were not eaten. Talking of the skins reminds us of the celebrated Skinner, model of head-waitors, standing at the door in his shirt
sleeves, and conducting a strict and searching inquiry in the following style:—
“What have you had, Sir?” “A chop and potatoes,” replied the guest. “ Chop and potatoes, two-and-three. Any stout ? ” “ Yes,” the guest would reluctantly admit, “ I had a glass or two of stout.” “Two stouts is eight, chop and potatoes three-and-two, and eight is four-and-four,” said Skinner with the rapidity of a calculating boy. “Any liquors—brandy, whiskey?” Here the guest would hesitate, ana then it occurred to him that he had had two glasses of whiskey. “ And water ? ” demanded Skinner,
severely, as if it were no good attempting to deceive him. “Yes, and water,” replied the guest, quite alarmed at his questioner’s intimate knowledge of his doings.
Skinner went ahead faster than ever. “ Chop and potatoes, fourand-three; two stouts—eight, five-and-four; two whiskies-and
water, that’s eight-and-four ; and,”—as an after-thought,—“ any bread ? ” “ No,” the victim would reply, triumphantly, as though
he had him there, and he was wrong for once. “No, no bread.” “No bread,” echoed Skinner. “That’s nine-and-two exactly. Half-a-sovereign? Thank you, Sir; much obliged. Good night.
Sir,” and the guest was pushed forward by the eager orowd of customers waiting to settle with the indefatigable Mr. Skinner.
Funny place in old times was Evans’s ; the supper was good of its kina, the comic singing was not the best of its kind; but the real harmonies of the evening, “ The Hardy Horseman “ The Chough and Crow, My Gabrielle,” sung by the choristers, men and boys, were most enjoyable. When Eve was allowed to enter that Paradise, there was an end of the little Evans s below.
A French Eviction.
“ It is supposod that Don Carlos was ordered to quit France in consequence of his attitude at a religious ceremony on St. Henri’s day.” What was his attitude ? Probably agenouille, but not to be tolerated by a Republican Government, which, were it strong and popular, could permit twenty such Pretenders to remain
in France. Communists avoid such “attitudes,” and so are not interfered with. Poor Don Key-arlos 1
RULES OF THE RIVER. (As they Are, and ought Not to he.)
Steam Launches.
As you will go faster than anybody else, you can chaff those you pass by to your heart’s content. Compliment rowers on their cos
tume, ask them where they get their hats, and how much they paid for them; give them a few hints on rowing, such as “That’s the real military style of pulling.” “Now then, Hanlon, look alive!” “Jerk it out, old Beefy!” and “Time, Gentlemen, time! Look sharp there No. 2!”
Should any Gentleman be rowing with his wife, or sisters, or cousins and aunts, you, still on the going-faster-than-they theory,
must pay them those attentions which are so dear to the opposite sex. Smile affably at the Ladies, wink, kiss your hand, ask them whether they enjoyed themselves at the Aquarium last night, and invite them to throw old Stick-in-the-Mud over, and come on board with you.
Waste nothing. Even a cherry-stone deftly shot between the thumb and. first finger at an oarsman’s faoe, may, if it hit him hard enough, animate him in his efforts and cause him to accelerate his speed. And the jov with which the patient angler regards an empty cham
pagne bottle hurled at his float for ground-bait is, as a rule, too great to be expressed in words.
You cannot be too cautious. You are compelled to whistle while rounding a point, and before approaching a look. But don’t stop then. Whistlo the whole time you are in a look. _ Whistle when you pass a church, provided it is Sunday and there is service going on. Whistle at all pic-nic parties. This will cause them to think that their boats are being run down, and the rapture which will follow on the discovery of the safety of their craft, will well repay you, specially if the wind is in the right direction, and the men very ill-tempered.
Never go too fast. In the daytime the river is crowded with boats, therefore, for their sake, never exceed six miles an hour. At night
time, however, when the river is empty, go as hard as you can. Should anyone complain that his starboard scull is broken, and his boat stove in, give him the address of the nearest place where the Royal Humane Society’s drags are kept, and tell him, with that in
effable politeness which should always distinguish you, that you
would be only too delighted to stop and pick him up yourself, but you must catch the 10 15 train from Hampton Court.
Be very select in your company. Avoid rowdiness. Fill your launch with ! quiet, gentlemanly persons, who wear white hats with black bands on the side of their heads, who will toss for “ a bottle ”
at ten in the morning, and will take 6 to 4 about anything so long as the proper price is even money. Be yet more careful about the Ladies you ask for your trip. Let them be vividly golden as to their hair, and their faces protected from the river breeze by a positively lavish use of bismuth, kohl, rouge, and poudre de riz.
Sailing-Boats.
Says that capital little work, The Rowing Almanack, published by our friendly contemporary and contemporaneous friend, The Field, “ A row-boat must give way to a sailing-boat.” So must a steamlaunch. Therefore you can do as you dam please.
Row-Boats.
As soon as you approach the river leave all vestiges of decency behind. At home you may be, and probably are, an in-bed-by-eleven young man, and never-get-tight young man; but forget that. Row m a costume which, if you bathed in it in France, would bring the police down upon you in fifteen seconds.
“ Sasiety is sasiety,” said Thackeray. Belong to a good Club, and never mind whether it is a rowing one or not. The colours of I Zingari are tasty. Wear a cap and jacket of them. Should any
one ask whether you are entitled to do so, ask him whether that is his business.
The primary object of rowing is health. Therefore pull up to every public-house on the river-side, where you will immediately take another long pull, and a strong pull. Remember that every doctor admits that with hard exercise you can take far more stimu
lants than are admissible to one engaged in sedentary occupations. Rowing is a sedentary pursuit, by the bye; but still it is a pursuit.
It is a pursuit of health. You are always trying to come up with health well ahead. Seventeen pots of shandygaff, and a variety of stimulants, can do no one any harm who is in good condition. Be
winning in your ways with Barmaids ; and as “ swagger ” gives you an air of real importance, go in for “side”—river-side, of course.
(To be continued.)
A propos du Temps.—An unusually hot knight,—Sir Don up
Currie.
Japanese Fan-cy Dress.
The Watering-Pot Hat.
The Refrigerator
Costume.
In-fern-ally hot!
The Borage, or Insidor- Cup Hat.
Mr. Leafy.