ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED PROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
MORE “ FORMS OF THE HOUSE.”
(By Electric Light.)
Monday, July 18.—T. P. O’Connor improves as tlie weather grows hotter. To-night, after a preliminary shout at question time,
has a fling at Her Majesty’s Judges. “Thinks,” he says, “time has come for him to tell the House what ho thinks of those ermined partisans.”
“ Curious,” says Sir William Haecourt, “ what antipathy a certain class of people have for a judge. If they ’re in the dock they throw their boots at him ; out of it (and in a safe place) they howl at him.”
Pity, I say, that a young fellow like this Bhould throw away his chance of becoming a respectable mediocrity.
“ Yah, young innocent!” says Mr. Beiggs, who rather imposes on the accidental circumstance that he was in the House a Session before me. He is always coming to me reciting nursery rhymes, to improve my mind, as ne says. But let Beiggs beware. I never condescend to that sort of thing myself; but I have a friend at Chelsea who knows how to select the softest part of a human calf, and to mutter between clenched teeth “J’y mis ttj’y reste.” This, by the way.
“Yah, young innocent! T. P., is not such a fool as he looks. He’s going to the States to lecture in tho autumn, and he knows that there could be no better advertisement than a little bullying of the House of Commons.”
“What’she going to lecture on? Good manners ? ” saidWALTEE James.
“No, Bashfulness.”
IP I wonder now if this is true. T. P.’s growth in rowdyism certainly seems to want some explanation, and a man must want a big price to purchase such a character as this. It’s not nice, and it’s not clever. Any costermonger could do it better, and would come cheaper. As Sir Wilfrid Lawson says, “ T. P. O’Connor shouts at Forster as if the Chief Secretary had led him to believe that he was going to buy all tho carrots in his barrow, and had finally announced that he didn’t want any.”
Business dune.—Got on with the Land Bill up to Clause 4G.
Tuesday.—Glad to see Mr. CnArLlN get a regular ovation to-day from the Ministerialists. They are, as a rule, a little hard on him. When he pipes, with whatever melancholy air, they refuse to dance.
He prophesies unutterable things, and they laugh. He treats them to a coruscation of perorations, and still they are not happy. To
night, when he rose at the appropriate hour of midnight, with his suit of sables showing under the mockery of his summer dress, thero was tho accustomed groan of despair.
“Jeremiah with afresh chapter of Lamentations,” said Mr. Woodall, his customarily cheerful countenance growing suddenly saddened.
But tho anticipatory moan was changed to a shout of triumph, when Mr. Ciiaflin, in solemn tones, and with depressed manner, said, “ I will raise my protest once for all! ” At the prospect here presented, the spirits of the House went up, much after the manner of the thermometer in recent times. Speaking metaphorically, it may bo said that they stood at 90 in the shade. Exhilaration only temporary. Presently discovered that this was only a figure of speech.
Ho’s like that confounded raven on the pallid bust of Pallas that went croaking ‘Nevermore! ’ through I don’t knowhow many verses,”
said Mr. Chamberlain. “ His ‘ once for all ’ will certainly last till the end of the Session.”
All this very hard on Mr. Chaplin, who is understood at Newmarket to be one of the chief orators of the House—one who might
any day step into the shoes of Mr. Gladstone. Of course there is a difficulty about Mr. Chaplin leading Liberals. But this little dis
tinction not clearly visible from the Heath. Lord Rosebery tells me that there is always a flutter among the jockeys, whether at New
market or Epsom, when the stately figure of the Member for Mid- Lincolnshire is observed. Also there is much shaking of the head and melancholy foreboding in the Ring.
“ He ’ll be a blooming Premier some day,” the jockeys say to each other as they turn to watch him. “ He ’ll never eare for ’orses any more. He’s one of them gents as might be anythink. He might be Admiral of the Fleet, or he might turn out the Dook of Cambridge.
He comes amongst us cos it’s gentlemanly. But he ’ll be a blooming Prime Minister, and will turn up his nose at sport.”
All this of course I hear at secondhand, and it makes a pretty picture to think of Mr. Chaplin carelessly walking about the Heath or watching the horses at Epsom or Doncaster, and all these eyes, full of sad forebodings, turned upon his unconscious figure. But I fancy Lord Hartington must be speaking metaphorically when he says the jockeys bring themselves down to weight by simply lying in bed at night thinking of the inevitable separation.
Business done.—Last Clause of Land Bill reached.
Wednesday.—House begins to understand the meaning of Mr. Gladstone’s recent visits to the Durduns. He spent the Whitsun holidays there, and on another occasion found the peace of the Sab
bath-day by the deserted Downs. This happened some weeks ago,
and hitherto no trace discovered of results of his new studies. But to-day he comes forward and, slapping the despatch-box, offers to “ lay 10 to 1 ” on Lawson against Rathbone.
“ A good start for a young ’un,” Mr. CiiArLiN says, looking with generous sympathy on the novice entering on a pathway which he himself is about to quit. “He’ll be setting up an umbrella and a large hat next, and.with a money-bag with ‘ W. E. G.’ stamped on it will do a good business at Epsom.”
Mr. Warton has his doubts on the question of law. The House of Commons is not licensed for betting purposes, and even the high
station of tho Premier does not put him abovo the law.
“8 & 9 Viet. c. 109,” Mr. Warton explains to Mr. Whitley, “ makes it penal for any person betting in any street, road, high
way, or other open public place. Such person would be deemed a rogue and a vagabond, and fined, or imprisoned. Now this is an open and public place, and here’s Gladstone trying to lure Northcote into a bet by offering him large odds. Why should he get off when a poor man would be fined ? 1 ’ll give notice of a question.” And
Mr. Warton, snuffing violently, goes off to write it out.
Business done.—Clean through Land Bill in Committee, except new Clauses.
Friday.—Quite interesting to watch the greetings of Sir William Haecourt and Mr. Forster through successive evenings on the Treasury Bench. Young Herbert Oladstone, who sits inline diately behind them, tells mo ho hears them softly singing the little hymn from Dr. Watts, beginning— “And are we still alive,
And see each other s face ? ”
It must be a dreadful thing to have correspondence of the kind ad
dressed to those eminent men. On the whole, Forster’s comes a little
G. M. B-rne or J. L-hy.
H. Gl-dst-ne.
Ju.st-n McC-rthy.
A. M. S-ll-v-n.
F. H. O’D-nn-ll.
T. P. O’C-nn-r.Sir H. J-m-s.
H. L-b-ch-re.G. O. M-rg-n.
J. Ch-mb-rl-n.
H. F-wc-tt.
EXTRACTED PROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
MORE “ FORMS OF THE HOUSE.”
(By Electric Light.)
Monday, July 18.—T. P. O’Connor improves as tlie weather grows hotter. To-night, after a preliminary shout at question time,
has a fling at Her Majesty’s Judges. “Thinks,” he says, “time has come for him to tell the House what ho thinks of those ermined partisans.”
“ Curious,” says Sir William Haecourt, “ what antipathy a certain class of people have for a judge. If they ’re in the dock they throw their boots at him ; out of it (and in a safe place) they howl at him.”
Pity, I say, that a young fellow like this Bhould throw away his chance of becoming a respectable mediocrity.
“ Yah, young innocent!” says Mr. Beiggs, who rather imposes on the accidental circumstance that he was in the House a Session before me. He is always coming to me reciting nursery rhymes, to improve my mind, as ne says. But let Beiggs beware. I never condescend to that sort of thing myself; but I have a friend at Chelsea who knows how to select the softest part of a human calf, and to mutter between clenched teeth “J’y mis ttj’y reste.” This, by the way.
“Yah, young innocent! T. P., is not such a fool as he looks. He’s going to the States to lecture in tho autumn, and he knows that there could be no better advertisement than a little bullying of the House of Commons.”
“What’she going to lecture on? Good manners ? ” saidWALTEE James.
“No, Bashfulness.”
IP I wonder now if this is true. T. P.’s growth in rowdyism certainly seems to want some explanation, and a man must want a big price to purchase such a character as this. It’s not nice, and it’s not clever. Any costermonger could do it better, and would come cheaper. As Sir Wilfrid Lawson says, “ T. P. O’Connor shouts at Forster as if the Chief Secretary had led him to believe that he was going to buy all tho carrots in his barrow, and had finally announced that he didn’t want any.”
Business dune.—Got on with the Land Bill up to Clause 4G.
Tuesday.—Glad to see Mr. CnArLlN get a regular ovation to-day from the Ministerialists. They are, as a rule, a little hard on him. When he pipes, with whatever melancholy air, they refuse to dance.
He prophesies unutterable things, and they laugh. He treats them to a coruscation of perorations, and still they are not happy. To
night, when he rose at the appropriate hour of midnight, with his suit of sables showing under the mockery of his summer dress, thero was tho accustomed groan of despair.
“Jeremiah with afresh chapter of Lamentations,” said Mr. Woodall, his customarily cheerful countenance growing suddenly saddened.
But tho anticipatory moan was changed to a shout of triumph, when Mr. Ciiaflin, in solemn tones, and with depressed manner, said, “ I will raise my protest once for all! ” At the prospect here presented, the spirits of the House went up, much after the manner of the thermometer in recent times. Speaking metaphorically, it may bo said that they stood at 90 in the shade. Exhilaration only temporary. Presently discovered that this was only a figure of speech.
Ho’s like that confounded raven on the pallid bust of Pallas that went croaking ‘Nevermore! ’ through I don’t knowhow many verses,”
said Mr. Chamberlain. “ His ‘ once for all ’ will certainly last till the end of the Session.”
All this very hard on Mr. Chaplin, who is understood at Newmarket to be one of the chief orators of the House—one who might
any day step into the shoes of Mr. Gladstone. Of course there is a difficulty about Mr. Chaplin leading Liberals. But this little dis
tinction not clearly visible from the Heath. Lord Rosebery tells me that there is always a flutter among the jockeys, whether at New
market or Epsom, when the stately figure of the Member for Mid- Lincolnshire is observed. Also there is much shaking of the head and melancholy foreboding in the Ring.
“ He ’ll be a blooming Premier some day,” the jockeys say to each other as they turn to watch him. “ He ’ll never eare for ’orses any more. He’s one of them gents as might be anythink. He might be Admiral of the Fleet, or he might turn out the Dook of Cambridge.
He comes amongst us cos it’s gentlemanly. But he ’ll be a blooming Prime Minister, and will turn up his nose at sport.”
All this of course I hear at secondhand, and it makes a pretty picture to think of Mr. Chaplin carelessly walking about the Heath or watching the horses at Epsom or Doncaster, and all these eyes, full of sad forebodings, turned upon his unconscious figure. But I fancy Lord Hartington must be speaking metaphorically when he says the jockeys bring themselves down to weight by simply lying in bed at night thinking of the inevitable separation.
Business done.—Last Clause of Land Bill reached.
Wednesday.—House begins to understand the meaning of Mr. Gladstone’s recent visits to the Durduns. He spent the Whitsun holidays there, and on another occasion found the peace of the Sab
bath-day by the deserted Downs. This happened some weeks ago,
and hitherto no trace discovered of results of his new studies. But to-day he comes forward and, slapping the despatch-box, offers to “ lay 10 to 1 ” on Lawson against Rathbone.
“ A good start for a young ’un,” Mr. CiiArLiN says, looking with generous sympathy on the novice entering on a pathway which he himself is about to quit. “He’ll be setting up an umbrella and a large hat next, and.with a money-bag with ‘ W. E. G.’ stamped on it will do a good business at Epsom.”
Mr. Warton has his doubts on the question of law. The House of Commons is not licensed for betting purposes, and even the high
station of tho Premier does not put him abovo the law.
“8 & 9 Viet. c. 109,” Mr. Warton explains to Mr. Whitley, “ makes it penal for any person betting in any street, road, high
way, or other open public place. Such person would be deemed a rogue and a vagabond, and fined, or imprisoned. Now this is an open and public place, and here’s Gladstone trying to lure Northcote into a bet by offering him large odds. Why should he get off when a poor man would be fined ? 1 ’ll give notice of a question.” And
Mr. Warton, snuffing violently, goes off to write it out.
Business done.—Clean through Land Bill in Committee, except new Clauses.
Friday.—Quite interesting to watch the greetings of Sir William Haecourt and Mr. Forster through successive evenings on the Treasury Bench. Young Herbert Oladstone, who sits inline diately behind them, tells mo ho hears them softly singing the little hymn from Dr. Watts, beginning— “And are we still alive,
And see each other s face ? ”
It must be a dreadful thing to have correspondence of the kind ad
dressed to those eminent men. On the whole, Forster’s comes a little
G. M. B-rne or J. L-hy.
H. Gl-dst-ne.
Ju.st-n McC-rthy.
A. M. S-ll-v-n.
F. H. O’D-nn-ll.
T. P. O’C-nn-r.Sir H. J-m-s.
H. L-b-ch-re.G. O. M-rg-n.
J. Ch-mb-rl-n.
H. F-wc-tt.