A SUBTLE DISTINCTION.
Jones (who is of an inquiring mind). “Ain’t you getting tired of hearing People say, ‘ That is the beautiful Miss Belsize ! ’ ? ” Miss Belsize (a Professional Beauty). “ Oh no. I m getting tired of hearing People say, ‘ Is that the beautiful Miss Belsize ?
THE HAUNTED MINARET.
A Whisper from the Pavilion.
It was the most eventful moment of the eventful aftornoon; and He was nowhere to be found.
“ Where is he ? ” oried, with his usual impetuosity, the Mayor of Brighton.
“ Wherever can He be ? ” cried the Mayoress.
“ Where is ho ?” thundered Sir Albert Sassoon to the Twenty- Sixth Footman.
“ Oh, where is He ? ” wailed, in doleful concert, the Ladies who were being rapidly converted (by the heat) into water souohe at the Aquarium.
He isn’t here,” observed the stout man in the jersey, at Brill’s Baths.
“ Haven’t seon him this quarter of an hour,” grumbled the great army of Special Correspondents.
“I have not the least idea where he can be,” urbanely remarked Mr. J. P. Knight, General Manager of the London, Brighton and South Coast Railway, to Messrs. Hollond and Marriott, M.P.’s.
“ He hasn’t been here.” observod Mr. Cheksem an, of the West Pier. “ Nor here! ” ejaculated the Manager of the Grand Hotel.
And then all tho lirightonians, and the llovitos, and the Hittites (Members of the Brighton Cricket Club), and the Arthur Wagnerites, and the Volunteers, the Hymen, tho fisnermen, the bathing-machine women, and the governesses and pupils of nine hundred and ninetynine Boarding-Schools for Young Ladies (commonly called Ashby Sterryites), all burst out crying and sobbing, and repeated in despairing unison—
“Oh! where and oh! where
Can H-a lt-y-1 H-ghn-ss be? He isn’t cm the land,
And he isn’t on the sea.
To him we ’re all devours.
Can he be with Herr Kuhe ? He isn’t on the beach—
Oh ! where is H.U.H. ? ”
But Punch knew where H.R.H. was. Who but he ? There is, among tho domes, the cupolas, the pinnacles, the pilasters, the buttresses, the pediments, the architraves, the intercolumniations,
the rhomboids, the astragals, the friezes, the caryatides, and the carryooaiides, the tetrachords, and the harpsichords of the Royal Pavilion a certain tall Minaret—the very tallest in the entire Pastry
cook’s Paluoe, which causes the architectural critic to Nash his teeth with rage every time he gazes upon it; and that Minaret Punch knows to be Haunted. Who but he ? To that Minaret Punch despatched a Little Bird; and this is what the Little Bird saw and heard:—
Scene—The Haunted Minaret. Enter the Ghost of H.R.H. G -- e, P.R. Curly brown wig as curly as ever, but a little the icorsefor wear. Smile as sweet as ever, only a little ghastly.
Ghost of G -- e, P.It. Doosedhot! Think I’ll take off my wig. Rather trying, these white kid inexpressibles. Wish I’d brought nankeens. How well he looks! Doesn’t seem to mind the heat a bit. Plucky fellow. Then they all cheered ! Strange that the mob didn’t hiss him. They used to hiss me. Confounded Radioals! Hope he ’ll follow me up here. Tipped him the wink while the Recorder was reading the Address. Hallo! here he is.
Enter H.R.II. Alb-rt Edw-iid.
Prince. Hope I don’t intrude ? Seventeen hundred and eleven steps. Rather trying. [To Ghost, bowing.) I don’t think we have ever met until to-day; out (smiling) I tliiiikl may be entitled to say, “0, my prophetic soul, my Grand-Uncle.”
Ghost. You are right, Grand-Nephew. 1 am your Grand-Avuncular. And—ahem! the Finest Gentleman in Europe. So hot! (Clearing his voice.) My Lords and Gentlemen, J continue to receive from Foreign Powers assurances of amity and esteem ; but I regret to
have to announce that the exertions of the Emperor of Austria against the ambition and violence of France have --
Prince (interrupting). I fully see the force and appropriateness of your remarks, Sir; but I might, perhaps, be allowed to remark that I am beginning to feel rather dry. I ’ve come a long way upstairs, to have the honour of meeting Your It-y-1 H-gh-ss. It’s rather hot.
Ghost (sighing). And I from a very much longer way downstairs. It is hot! Doosed hot!
Prince (sticking to his text). But some slight amount of refresh
ment —
Jones (who is of an inquiring mind). “Ain’t you getting tired of hearing People say, ‘ That is the beautiful Miss Belsize ! ’ ? ” Miss Belsize (a Professional Beauty). “ Oh no. I m getting tired of hearing People say, ‘ Is that the beautiful Miss Belsize ?
THE HAUNTED MINARET.
A Whisper from the Pavilion.
It was the most eventful moment of the eventful aftornoon; and He was nowhere to be found.
“ Where is he ? ” oried, with his usual impetuosity, the Mayor of Brighton.
“ Wherever can He be ? ” cried the Mayoress.
“ Where is ho ?” thundered Sir Albert Sassoon to the Twenty- Sixth Footman.
“ Oh, where is He ? ” wailed, in doleful concert, the Ladies who were being rapidly converted (by the heat) into water souohe at the Aquarium.
He isn’t here,” observed the stout man in the jersey, at Brill’s Baths.
“ Haven’t seon him this quarter of an hour,” grumbled the great army of Special Correspondents.
“I have not the least idea where he can be,” urbanely remarked Mr. J. P. Knight, General Manager of the London, Brighton and South Coast Railway, to Messrs. Hollond and Marriott, M.P.’s.
“ He hasn’t been here.” observod Mr. Cheksem an, of the West Pier. “ Nor here! ” ejaculated the Manager of the Grand Hotel.
And then all tho lirightonians, and the llovitos, and the Hittites (Members of the Brighton Cricket Club), and the Arthur Wagnerites, and the Volunteers, the Hymen, tho fisnermen, the bathing-machine women, and the governesses and pupils of nine hundred and ninetynine Boarding-Schools for Young Ladies (commonly called Ashby Sterryites), all burst out crying and sobbing, and repeated in despairing unison—
“Oh! where and oh! where
Can H-a lt-y-1 H-ghn-ss be? He isn’t cm the land,
And he isn’t on the sea.
To him we ’re all devours.
Can he be with Herr Kuhe ? He isn’t on the beach—
Oh ! where is H.U.H. ? ”
But Punch knew where H.R.H. was. Who but he ? There is, among tho domes, the cupolas, the pinnacles, the pilasters, the buttresses, the pediments, the architraves, the intercolumniations,
the rhomboids, the astragals, the friezes, the caryatides, and the carryooaiides, the tetrachords, and the harpsichords of the Royal Pavilion a certain tall Minaret—the very tallest in the entire Pastry
cook’s Paluoe, which causes the architectural critic to Nash his teeth with rage every time he gazes upon it; and that Minaret Punch knows to be Haunted. Who but he ? To that Minaret Punch despatched a Little Bird; and this is what the Little Bird saw and heard:—
Scene—The Haunted Minaret. Enter the Ghost of H.R.H. G -- e, P.R. Curly brown wig as curly as ever, but a little the icorsefor wear. Smile as sweet as ever, only a little ghastly.
Ghost of G -- e, P.It. Doosedhot! Think I’ll take off my wig. Rather trying, these white kid inexpressibles. Wish I’d brought nankeens. How well he looks! Doesn’t seem to mind the heat a bit. Plucky fellow. Then they all cheered ! Strange that the mob didn’t hiss him. They used to hiss me. Confounded Radioals! Hope he ’ll follow me up here. Tipped him the wink while the Recorder was reading the Address. Hallo! here he is.
Enter H.R.II. Alb-rt Edw-iid.
Prince. Hope I don’t intrude ? Seventeen hundred and eleven steps. Rather trying. [To Ghost, bowing.) I don’t think we have ever met until to-day; out (smiling) I tliiiikl may be entitled to say, “0, my prophetic soul, my Grand-Uncle.”
Ghost. You are right, Grand-Nephew. 1 am your Grand-Avuncular. And—ahem! the Finest Gentleman in Europe. So hot! (Clearing his voice.) My Lords and Gentlemen, J continue to receive from Foreign Powers assurances of amity and esteem ; but I regret to
have to announce that the exertions of the Emperor of Austria against the ambition and violence of France have --
Prince (interrupting). I fully see the force and appropriateness of your remarks, Sir; but I might, perhaps, be allowed to remark that I am beginning to feel rather dry. I ’ve come a long way upstairs, to have the honour of meeting Your It-y-1 H-gh-ss. It’s rather hot.
Ghost (sighing). And I from a very much longer way downstairs. It is hot! Doosed hot!
Prince (sticking to his text). But some slight amount of refresh
ment —