THE HALFWAY HOT-HOUSE; OR, “TOM ALL-ALONE.”
Mr. G. R. Sims having created an electric effect with The Lights o’ London at the Princess’s is, of course, not above attempting to rekindle the “sacred lamp’’ of comedy at the Vaudeville. The
Halfway House, whereat he introduces us to his company, is one of those dear old-fashioned hostelries where not one of the characters ever thinks of ordering even so little as half-a-pint of half-and-half. Consequently we are not surprised to find that while the sign is hung, there is also an execution in the house.
The man in possession is one Obadiali Dell. He is not one of the original Two Obadiahs, because he is never dry, on the contrary he
is always wet—with tears. Mr. W. Lestocq, who plays the part, is so oppressed with the knowledge that executions cannot be levied for rent, that he is in perpetual distress. And of course the more he annoys the actors, the more the audience is pleased with his melan
choly conduct, for in good sooth this representative of le stock compagnie da Vaudeville is vastly diverting.
Blank Beck (Christian name not given) is the landlord of the Halfway House. From his attire it is evident that the Turf, not the Road, should be his vocation. Beck is a landlord, but there is one landlordlier than he. His landlord is Squire Ilesseltine, who has also gone wrong in his pursuits, for he is clearly no country gentleman at all, but an old Regency buck, say, Beau Brummelgem. The beau has a peculiarly disagreeable sister, one Mrs. O Shaughnessy (a slight hoarseness is useful in pronouncing this name), and she it is who is down on Blank Beck for three-quarters rent. Some of her acquaintances call her the “ iron-clad.” Three-quarter decker would be a better appellation.
Among the distinguished visitors to the Halfway-House are Mr. John Hope and 3Iiss Ivy Hope, his daughter, so called because Mr. J. II. is a London florist. Here anyone inspired by the genius of the piece can stop to make a joke about Thorne” and “roses,”—then on we go again. In respect of flowers Mr. Beck is a man of properties. Miss Ivy moreover had, when we saw her, culled an extremely fine branch of stephanotis in the con
servatory. The Halfway Hot-house is decidedly the place for a floricultured person. Miss Ivy, by the way, is somewhat of the
ivy green” tvpe, for she has allowed Beau Brummelgem’s son
Philip to make love to her as “ Mr. Howard,” when he came to buy
buttonholes at the Paternal Kmporiuin. Of course she is annoyed at this Howardly behaviour, hut plausible Philip soon reassures her.
His clandestine conduct was simply because his mother was in a lunatic asylum. Any girl would be satisfied with this explanation. Ivy is, especially when Philip produces the Mad Mother herself.
The M. M. (who is not M.) has been locked up by her sister-in
law, the Three-quarter decker. But Philip, brave hoy, rescues his maternal relative; and, having conveyed her to the Hot-house, effectually prevents a case of de lunatico inn-quircndo, by concealing her behind the door. This situation, not to say hers, is decidedly llat. lhe drop falls on the end of the execution, for Mr. John Maclean plays Beck-y Sharp with success, and holds the key of the position. Dismal Dell sings “ I’ll never get Beck no more.” For correct key, see our Artist’s Illustration.
In Act II. Beau Brummelgem has asked the Hopes to his family
seat, which, from stage necessities, is Hesseltiny Hall. The Beau has a gallery of ancestral pictures,
on the strength of which he hopes to draw upon the Florist.
Many sterling jokes are replated a la Brummelgem in this Act, such as “ pigs paying the rent,” ‘‘the dust
man being down with the dust,” and “ the family - tree being shady.”
The Three-quarter decker has, we for
got to mention, a daughter 3Iadge.
She naturally attracts the affections of a nautical neophyte (rank hazy), one Bertie Scott. Unlike most mariners, he has a partiality
for strong drinks, and, like most nautical men, an indisposition to board the Three-quarter decker (with a proposal). We are there
fore quite prepared to find that when he endeavours to display his neo-fighting qualities, he is wofully “ wrecked in port.” (There was some joke here — play on “ port ” ana “ sherry ”—so new 1
The M. M., though invisible during this portion of the play, is still fearfully present as another alliterative a^ent—the Machinal Medium. It is by her unseen influence that Ivy gets into a hopeless tangle over a locket, that the Beau is drawn by the Florist, and that the Threequarter decker is boarded, captured, and incarcerated, not in the felon’s dock, but in the lodge (also unseen) of Hesseltiny Hall. No wonder, then, that the Poet croons in our ear :—
“Beware the Maniac s influence!
Beware her secret will intense!
Her power, we see, is all immense ;
She can’t be mad—she must have sense.”
Back to the Halfway Hot-house in Act III. This time we get inside. So does Dell. Scarcely a deep Dell either, to be kept out so long, with a nice easy window to get in at. The M. M. reappears.
There being, apparently, only one bedroom in this fine old roadside inn, she shares that with Ivy. Where Mr. John Hope, Blank Beck,
and Blank Beck’s daughter sleep, concerns nobody. The M.M. is made up like Marie Antoinette. Good subject for an historical painting, “ The M. M. going to the Execution at the Halfway Hot-house.”
After a Lady ’Teazle Scene, the Beau is reconciled to. the M. M,, the Florist plants his Ivy on the Hesseltine tree, and promises to pay off the Beau’s liabilities. He says so, but we should like to see the sequel, for, as we all know, “ Hope told a Uattering tale.” Dell leaves at Beck s nod, and the Threequarter decker is effectually sunk.
On this action the Curtain falls.
Is this play of Mr. Sims’s a comic melodrama or a melodramatic comedy, or what ? The piece has plenty of good things in it, but it is plum-duff, not plum-pudding. Mr.
Thomas Thorne’s John Hope is a capital study, though savouring more of the turnips and cabbages Covent Garden Market gardener than of the peach and strawberries eighteen-penny-buttonhofe trades
man of the West End. Mrs. Can
nings is excellent as the Threequarter decker. Every shot which she tires makes a mark. Miss
Murray is earnest and tender, and, being Ivy, like the great Tea-merchant, she is always Twining round somebody or other.
Beau Brummelgem.
De Lunatico Iun-quireudo.
The Key of the Position. Bitters for Sherry.
Ivy Twining round an Old Thorne.
(N.B.—This is not a Tea advt.)
Mr. G. R. Sims having created an electric effect with The Lights o’ London at the Princess’s is, of course, not above attempting to rekindle the “sacred lamp’’ of comedy at the Vaudeville. The
Halfway House, whereat he introduces us to his company, is one of those dear old-fashioned hostelries where not one of the characters ever thinks of ordering even so little as half-a-pint of half-and-half. Consequently we are not surprised to find that while the sign is hung, there is also an execution in the house.
The man in possession is one Obadiali Dell. He is not one of the original Two Obadiahs, because he is never dry, on the contrary he
is always wet—with tears. Mr. W. Lestocq, who plays the part, is so oppressed with the knowledge that executions cannot be levied for rent, that he is in perpetual distress. And of course the more he annoys the actors, the more the audience is pleased with his melan
choly conduct, for in good sooth this representative of le stock compagnie da Vaudeville is vastly diverting.
Blank Beck (Christian name not given) is the landlord of the Halfway House. From his attire it is evident that the Turf, not the Road, should be his vocation. Beck is a landlord, but there is one landlordlier than he. His landlord is Squire Ilesseltine, who has also gone wrong in his pursuits, for he is clearly no country gentleman at all, but an old Regency buck, say, Beau Brummelgem. The beau has a peculiarly disagreeable sister, one Mrs. O Shaughnessy (a slight hoarseness is useful in pronouncing this name), and she it is who is down on Blank Beck for three-quarters rent. Some of her acquaintances call her the “ iron-clad.” Three-quarter decker would be a better appellation.
Among the distinguished visitors to the Halfway-House are Mr. John Hope and 3Iiss Ivy Hope, his daughter, so called because Mr. J. II. is a London florist. Here anyone inspired by the genius of the piece can stop to make a joke about Thorne” and “roses,”—then on we go again. In respect of flowers Mr. Beck is a man of properties. Miss Ivy moreover had, when we saw her, culled an extremely fine branch of stephanotis in the con
servatory. The Halfway Hot-house is decidedly the place for a floricultured person. Miss Ivy, by the way, is somewhat of the
ivy green” tvpe, for she has allowed Beau Brummelgem’s son
Philip to make love to her as “ Mr. Howard,” when he came to buy
buttonholes at the Paternal Kmporiuin. Of course she is annoyed at this Howardly behaviour, hut plausible Philip soon reassures her.
His clandestine conduct was simply because his mother was in a lunatic asylum. Any girl would be satisfied with this explanation. Ivy is, especially when Philip produces the Mad Mother herself.
The M. M. (who is not M.) has been locked up by her sister-in
law, the Three-quarter decker. But Philip, brave hoy, rescues his maternal relative; and, having conveyed her to the Hot-house, effectually prevents a case of de lunatico inn-quircndo, by concealing her behind the door. This situation, not to say hers, is decidedly llat. lhe drop falls on the end of the execution, for Mr. John Maclean plays Beck-y Sharp with success, and holds the key of the position. Dismal Dell sings “ I’ll never get Beck no more.” For correct key, see our Artist’s Illustration.
In Act II. Beau Brummelgem has asked the Hopes to his family
seat, which, from stage necessities, is Hesseltiny Hall. The Beau has a gallery of ancestral pictures,
on the strength of which he hopes to draw upon the Florist.
Many sterling jokes are replated a la Brummelgem in this Act, such as “ pigs paying the rent,” ‘‘the dust
man being down with the dust,” and “ the family - tree being shady.”
The Three-quarter decker has, we for
got to mention, a daughter 3Iadge.
She naturally attracts the affections of a nautical neophyte (rank hazy), one Bertie Scott. Unlike most mariners, he has a partiality
for strong drinks, and, like most nautical men, an indisposition to board the Three-quarter decker (with a proposal). We are there
fore quite prepared to find that when he endeavours to display his neo-fighting qualities, he is wofully “ wrecked in port.” (There was some joke here — play on “ port ” ana “ sherry ”—so new 1
The M. M., though invisible during this portion of the play, is still fearfully present as another alliterative a^ent—the Machinal Medium. It is by her unseen influence that Ivy gets into a hopeless tangle over a locket, that the Beau is drawn by the Florist, and that the Threequarter decker is boarded, captured, and incarcerated, not in the felon’s dock, but in the lodge (also unseen) of Hesseltiny Hall. No wonder, then, that the Poet croons in our ear :—
“Beware the Maniac s influence!
Beware her secret will intense!
Her power, we see, is all immense ;
She can’t be mad—she must have sense.”
Back to the Halfway Hot-house in Act III. This time we get inside. So does Dell. Scarcely a deep Dell either, to be kept out so long, with a nice easy window to get in at. The M. M. reappears.
There being, apparently, only one bedroom in this fine old roadside inn, she shares that with Ivy. Where Mr. John Hope, Blank Beck,
and Blank Beck’s daughter sleep, concerns nobody. The M.M. is made up like Marie Antoinette. Good subject for an historical painting, “ The M. M. going to the Execution at the Halfway Hot-house.”
After a Lady ’Teazle Scene, the Beau is reconciled to. the M. M,, the Florist plants his Ivy on the Hesseltine tree, and promises to pay off the Beau’s liabilities. He says so, but we should like to see the sequel, for, as we all know, “ Hope told a Uattering tale.” Dell leaves at Beck s nod, and the Threequarter decker is effectually sunk.
On this action the Curtain falls.
Is this play of Mr. Sims’s a comic melodrama or a melodramatic comedy, or what ? The piece has plenty of good things in it, but it is plum-duff, not plum-pudding. Mr.
Thomas Thorne’s John Hope is a capital study, though savouring more of the turnips and cabbages Covent Garden Market gardener than of the peach and strawberries eighteen-penny-buttonhofe trades
man of the West End. Mrs. Can
nings is excellent as the Threequarter decker. Every shot which she tires makes a mark. Miss
Murray is earnest and tender, and, being Ivy, like the great Tea-merchant, she is always Twining round somebody or other.
Beau Brummelgem.
De Lunatico Iun-quireudo.
The Key of the Position. Bitters for Sherry.
Ivy Twining round an Old Thorne.
(N.B.—This is not a Tea advt.)