select. The Crew won’t be admitted to the Captain’s mess: the Captain will mess alone: so will the Crew: so will our Corre
spondent. On Sunday they can unite, and make one jolly mess ot it between them.
The vessel is completely “found”—we found her—in every respect. Not having had time to christen her, she has gone off without a name, but this can.be rectified at the first port our Correspondent puts in at. The yacht is filled up with the very latest improvements, false keel (for disguise),
sliding panels and jury masts (as required by law), implements for raking fore and aft, with a model of Plymouth Hoe, only to be used by the Hoe-ner; the deck is fitted with colney-hatcheS; hot and cold baths below, porter up all night, telephones for every part of the world to our office, so that only authentic news can be published in this paper, as we shall recognise his voice.
The yacht is furnished with screws, auxiliary steam, boxes of compressed force,
and passports to enable her to pass any port anywhere.
Our Correspondent just looked in at the office to say he had started half an hour a^o,
and to ask for further orders—Post-Office Orders; but we hadn’t any by us, and so he is now off and away. He says he doesn’t know what to call the yacht, except rather
small—but as he acknowledges^ he has not yet been all over her, his opinion is not worth much. We hope he ’ll agree with the Captain and the Crew, and we have half a mind to send a Policeman with him. We await news with some anxiety.
N.B.—Submarine Telephone just fitted up in our private room.
More (we hope) in our next.
BETTOR AND VERSE.
In the case of Galloway v. Maries, last week, Mr. Justice Lotes asked :—
“Suppose the person wore an enormous hat, with words ‘ Victoria Betting Club,’ would that be a ‘place’ p”
Mr. Bosanuuet : “ The hat being fixed to a moveable person would not in itself constitute a ‘ place.’ ”
Ail round my hat
I will wear a wide red brim, oh !
All round my hat,
When I’m going to a race.
And if a Peeler asks me
The reason why I wear it,
I ’ll say, it may look fishy, but My hat is not a “ place.”
MOKE ATPEOMtXATE.
On Wednesday last week, as per announcement, the Eestival of the Patron of Scotland, St. Andrew, was celebrated at Eton College “ with the annual foot-ball matches.” It ought to have been Hop- Scotch. _______________
At the Smoke Abatement Meeting, Coles, of Kensington, blazed away on the burning question. He was interrupted by
applause, but as no cold water was thrown on his suggestions, he was not put out. Vital Coles ! Live Coles !
They say the pace of Eoxhounds has vastly increased within the last quarter of a century. Do the Foxes go any quicker ? They ’re sharp enough to move with the times.
Sandwich.—One of the Stink Ports.
THE LODGER FRANCHISE.
“ It is now laid down that a person who has the sole and separate use of a room, and who has no service performed for him is a householder............ In many instances it will he found impossible to
show that persons who present themselves as householders have not the sole and separate use of a room.” — The Times on Justice Denman and Bowen’s decision in Bradley and Baylis.
Scene from the new Operetta of “ Cox and Box; or, The Happy.Householders.”
Cox and Box {singing together). Explain, Mrs. Bouncer! Explain! Explain! (Chordf Mrs. Justice Bouncer (recitative). Oh,.Gentlemen—[chord)—do not be violent—[chord)— listen, and be still! (Chord.)
Both, To you we ’ll listen, Bouncer. Yes, we will! [Two chords.)
Solo—Mrs. Bouncer.
Mr. Cox is away all the day,
And never comes in until night; And at night I may say Mr. Box is away,
And returns in the morning.
Box. Quite right! Cox. Right.quiteJ All Three [ensemble). And returns.in the morning quite.right.
Solo—Mrs. Bouncer.
Mr.) Box has the room to himself all the day, Mr. Cox has it while Mr. Box is away,
And as, upon oath,
It belongs to you both, I get from each gent
Equal money for rent;
And so 1 may say by the latest decision, Of which there will not be, I think, a revision* You ’re each of you—
Both [anxiously). What ?
Cox [eagerly). Speak out bolder !
Box [violently). ... Yes! bolder!
Mrs. Bouncer [con spirito). You’ll pay rates and taxes ! You ’re each a House-holder !
Trio.
Cox .and Box [apart, with concentrated fury)—
Oh rage, a fire in my bosom smoulders ! Mrs. B. [aside, with difficulty repressing her rapture)—
Oh joy, a fire in their bosom smoulders!
Cox and Box [apart), Mrs. B, [aside).
We are! we are! We ’re both House-holders !
They are! They are! They ’re both House-holders!
[Grand finale. Curtain.)
Publishers’ Announcement.—New issue of several volumes of Smoke, preceded by
several strong pull s.
spondent. On Sunday they can unite, and make one jolly mess ot it between them.
The vessel is completely “found”—we found her—in every respect. Not having had time to christen her, she has gone off without a name, but this can.be rectified at the first port our Correspondent puts in at. The yacht is filled up with the very latest improvements, false keel (for disguise),
sliding panels and jury masts (as required by law), implements for raking fore and aft, with a model of Plymouth Hoe, only to be used by the Hoe-ner; the deck is fitted with colney-hatcheS; hot and cold baths below, porter up all night, telephones for every part of the world to our office, so that only authentic news can be published in this paper, as we shall recognise his voice.
The yacht is furnished with screws, auxiliary steam, boxes of compressed force,
and passports to enable her to pass any port anywhere.
Our Correspondent just looked in at the office to say he had started half an hour a^o,
and to ask for further orders—Post-Office Orders; but we hadn’t any by us, and so he is now off and away. He says he doesn’t know what to call the yacht, except rather
small—but as he acknowledges^ he has not yet been all over her, his opinion is not worth much. We hope he ’ll agree with the Captain and the Crew, and we have half a mind to send a Policeman with him. We await news with some anxiety.
N.B.—Submarine Telephone just fitted up in our private room.
More (we hope) in our next.
BETTOR AND VERSE.
In the case of Galloway v. Maries, last week, Mr. Justice Lotes asked :—
“Suppose the person wore an enormous hat, with words ‘ Victoria Betting Club,’ would that be a ‘place’ p”
Mr. Bosanuuet : “ The hat being fixed to a moveable person would not in itself constitute a ‘ place.’ ”
Ail round my hat
I will wear a wide red brim, oh !
All round my hat,
When I’m going to a race.
And if a Peeler asks me
The reason why I wear it,
I ’ll say, it may look fishy, but My hat is not a “ place.”
MOKE ATPEOMtXATE.
On Wednesday last week, as per announcement, the Eestival of the Patron of Scotland, St. Andrew, was celebrated at Eton College “ with the annual foot-ball matches.” It ought to have been Hop- Scotch. _______________
At the Smoke Abatement Meeting, Coles, of Kensington, blazed away on the burning question. He was interrupted by
applause, but as no cold water was thrown on his suggestions, he was not put out. Vital Coles ! Live Coles !
They say the pace of Eoxhounds has vastly increased within the last quarter of a century. Do the Foxes go any quicker ? They ’re sharp enough to move with the times.
Sandwich.—One of the Stink Ports.
THE LODGER FRANCHISE.
“ It is now laid down that a person who has the sole and separate use of a room, and who has no service performed for him is a householder............ In many instances it will he found impossible to
show that persons who present themselves as householders have not the sole and separate use of a room.” — The Times on Justice Denman and Bowen’s decision in Bradley and Baylis.
Scene from the new Operetta of “ Cox and Box; or, The Happy.Householders.”
Cox and Box {singing together). Explain, Mrs. Bouncer! Explain! Explain! (Chordf Mrs. Justice Bouncer (recitative). Oh,.Gentlemen—[chord)—do not be violent—[chord)— listen, and be still! (Chord.)
Both, To you we ’ll listen, Bouncer. Yes, we will! [Two chords.)
Solo—Mrs. Bouncer.
Mr. Cox is away all the day,
And never comes in until night; And at night I may say Mr. Box is away,
And returns in the morning.
Box. Quite right! Cox. Right.quiteJ All Three [ensemble). And returns.in the morning quite.right.
Solo—Mrs. Bouncer.
Mr.) Box has the room to himself all the day, Mr. Cox has it while Mr. Box is away,
And as, upon oath,
It belongs to you both, I get from each gent
Equal money for rent;
And so 1 may say by the latest decision, Of which there will not be, I think, a revision* You ’re each of you—
Both [anxiously). What ?
Cox [eagerly). Speak out bolder !
Box [violently). ... Yes! bolder!
Mrs. Bouncer [con spirito). You’ll pay rates and taxes ! You ’re each a House-holder !
Trio.
Cox .and Box [apart, with concentrated fury)—
Oh rage, a fire in my bosom smoulders ! Mrs. B. [aside, with difficulty repressing her rapture)—
Oh joy, a fire in their bosom smoulders!
Cox and Box [apart), Mrs. B, [aside).
We are! we are! We ’re both House-holders !
They are! They are! They ’re both House-holders!
[Grand finale. Curtain.)
Publishers’ Announcement.—New issue of several volumes of Smoke, preceded by
several strong pull s.