EFFECT OF EPISCOPAL INFLUENCE.
It \s all very well to become a Radical and an Atheist, and all that ; but a Bishop s a Bishop ! So at least pooh ToDESON FINDS OUT, WHEN THE BlSHOP OF CLAPnAM (WHOM HE ONCE MET AT A GARDEN PARTY, LONG AGO) TAKES nlM FOR SOME BODY ELSE, AND FAVOURS HIM WITH A GRACIOUS WAVE OF THE HAND—THEREBY RECLAIMING HIM BACK TO THE BOSOM OF THE Established Church.
THE COURT OE RHADAMANTHUS.
(A very long way after Virgil.)
These are the realms of unrelenting Fate, And awful Rhadamanthus rules the State, Sitting in banco, firm as free of fuss, With rigid Minos and stern iEaeus.
Tremendous triad ! Terror of all those, How high soe’er each may have held his nose, Who trifle with corruption, striking awe Into all backstair breakers of the law.
They hear, they judge each hole-and-corner crime, Inquire into the manner, place, and time:
The conscious wretch must all his acts reveal, Loth to confess, unable to conceal.
Nay, though by custom brazened and made blunt, And bold long-blinking Justice to affront,
Is made to fear the bandaged One, and feel There’s more than menace in her lifted steel. Long has the Briber bribed with placid glee, Assured of silence or indemnity
For rank corruption, deemed a peccadillo ; But now, on many a soft and well-stuffed pillow, Uneasy lies the head that e’er a crown
To bribe a beer-mused rough or cloddy clown Has slipped or passed, upon some fair pretence Of friendship or “ legitimate expense.”
Alas! what wonder Party-hacks look glum, When even that divine Palladium, Respectability, has lost its charm,
And denizens of Gigdorn “ get it warm ” ! Shrink at the fateful Rhadamanthine nod, And pass to hard, unmitigated “ quod” ! Ask
Edwards, deft Solicitor of Deal,
What Law’s smart servitors, when Law-lashed, feel:
Ask Olds, of Sandwich, how the prison-door Looks, from within, to a Town-Councillor:
Question the Macclesfieldian May and Maiu,
How nine months’ chokee suits that pleasant pair: They bow their heads, we ’ll hope a blush to hide, And ghostlike from that dread tribunal glide.
Thanks, Minos, thanks, grim FEacus, and thanks, Stern Rhadamanthus; so the swelling ranks Of cynical Corruption shall be thinned,
So smart delinquents, who securely sinned, In chuckling confidence, shall know the State Flagitious greed will soundly flagellate; That when Respectability goes wrong,
Broadcloth and beaver will not stay the thong. Stern lesson to the luckless culprit few, And to the many a grim warning too.
Law down upon the dirtiest of frauds!
The Publio’s pleased and Punchius applauds.
The Defective Police.
The behaviour of Sootland Yard is getting more amusing every day—to the criminal classes. In the Hatton Garden robbery, be
cause no one gave them a “ clue ” within eight-and-forty hours, they calmly announced their withdrawal from the case ; and because they received no such clue, they assumed that the robbers must be Ameri
cans I What with a Post-Office which is seoured against pecuniary liability, and a Defective Polioe System which discovers nothing but the office where Salaries are paid, the Government of London is nearly perfect. _____________________
In Mediieval times, the great Ecclesiastical Doctor S. Thomas Aquinas was styled “The Angel of the Schools.” Will later ages bestow the same title on Mr. Mundella ?
It \s all very well to become a Radical and an Atheist, and all that ; but a Bishop s a Bishop ! So at least pooh ToDESON FINDS OUT, WHEN THE BlSHOP OF CLAPnAM (WHOM HE ONCE MET AT A GARDEN PARTY, LONG AGO) TAKES nlM FOR SOME BODY ELSE, AND FAVOURS HIM WITH A GRACIOUS WAVE OF THE HAND—THEREBY RECLAIMING HIM BACK TO THE BOSOM OF THE Established Church.
THE COURT OE RHADAMANTHUS.
(A very long way after Virgil.)
These are the realms of unrelenting Fate, And awful Rhadamanthus rules the State, Sitting in banco, firm as free of fuss, With rigid Minos and stern iEaeus.
Tremendous triad ! Terror of all those, How high soe’er each may have held his nose, Who trifle with corruption, striking awe Into all backstair breakers of the law.
They hear, they judge each hole-and-corner crime, Inquire into the manner, place, and time:
The conscious wretch must all his acts reveal, Loth to confess, unable to conceal.
Nay, though by custom brazened and made blunt, And bold long-blinking Justice to affront,
Is made to fear the bandaged One, and feel There’s more than menace in her lifted steel. Long has the Briber bribed with placid glee, Assured of silence or indemnity
For rank corruption, deemed a peccadillo ; But now, on many a soft and well-stuffed pillow, Uneasy lies the head that e’er a crown
To bribe a beer-mused rough or cloddy clown Has slipped or passed, upon some fair pretence Of friendship or “ legitimate expense.”
Alas! what wonder Party-hacks look glum, When even that divine Palladium, Respectability, has lost its charm,
And denizens of Gigdorn “ get it warm ” ! Shrink at the fateful Rhadamanthine nod, And pass to hard, unmitigated “ quod” ! Ask
Edwards, deft Solicitor of Deal,
What Law’s smart servitors, when Law-lashed, feel:
Ask Olds, of Sandwich, how the prison-door Looks, from within, to a Town-Councillor:
Question the Macclesfieldian May and Maiu,
How nine months’ chokee suits that pleasant pair: They bow their heads, we ’ll hope a blush to hide, And ghostlike from that dread tribunal glide.
Thanks, Minos, thanks, grim FEacus, and thanks, Stern Rhadamanthus; so the swelling ranks Of cynical Corruption shall be thinned,
So smart delinquents, who securely sinned, In chuckling confidence, shall know the State Flagitious greed will soundly flagellate; That when Respectability goes wrong,
Broadcloth and beaver will not stay the thong. Stern lesson to the luckless culprit few, And to the many a grim warning too.
Law down upon the dirtiest of frauds!
The Publio’s pleased and Punchius applauds.
The Defective Police.
The behaviour of Sootland Yard is getting more amusing every day—to the criminal classes. In the Hatton Garden robbery, be
cause no one gave them a “ clue ” within eight-and-forty hours, they calmly announced their withdrawal from the case ; and because they received no such clue, they assumed that the robbers must be Ameri
cans I What with a Post-Office which is seoured against pecuniary liability, and a Defective Polioe System which discovers nothing but the office where Salaries are paid, the Government of London is nearly perfect. _____________________
In Mediieval times, the great Ecclesiastical Doctor S. Thomas Aquinas was styled “The Angel of the Schools.” Will later ages bestow the same title on Mr. Mundella ?