UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE.—CAMBRIDGE.
(Whispers in the Senate House.)
“Hi! I say ! I’m a Married Man, with Six Children. For Mercy’s sake what is the English for Etiamt”
POET’S CORNER.
Or Nonsense Rhymes on well-known Names.
{Sunderland Library Sale.) Says Techener to Huaritch,
“ I yield as you’re more rich.” Says (iUARiTCii to Techener,
“You ’re not a good reck’ner.”
{From the Irish Bench.) Says Barry to Morris,
“ The Land League a bore is.” Says Morris to Barry,
“ It’s playing Old Harry.”
{A recent Election. By a Sup-porter.) Says Derry to Porter,
“ We’ve done what we oughter.” Says Porter to Derry,
“ Yes, let us he merry! ”
At the Pavilion.
“Pour liqueurs of Kimmel” was the order. Great crowd, and consequent delay. “ Waiter ! ” The Waiter was of a musical turn, and taking advantage of an interval between the clever conjuring entertainment
and Arthur Roberts’s “ Merry Family,” sang out, appropriately, “The Kimmels are coming ! ” But he didn’t add, “ Oh dear, oh dear ! ” as the price was as usual.
a nutshell notice.
The Author of that very funny article in the Temple Bar Magazine for October, called “ A Capital Farce for Snoole,” has scarcely succeeded in producing a capital
Comedy for Jephson at the Imperial.
ROBERT ON MUNICIPAL REFORM.
As many persons who nose no more about it than I do about the Irish Land Bill, seems to be torking and writing a lot of nonsense about the Reform of the Copperation, praps a few eyedears from one as nose a great deal, from beinp pretty offen, it not behind the scenes, certainly behind their chairs, may be of sum service; and I hereby presents ’em with my complemens free gratis for nothink, to Mr. Gladstone, who lecturod us all so sewerely at Gildhall the other day, coz we didn’t give him no dinner, to Sir W. Arcoijrt, who had the owdaeious imperance to chaff even a Sherrif, and on Lord Mare’s Day too, to Sir Arthur Chophouse, to Mr. Bottomless Froth, and to Mr. Hashem Bilk, and all such people, be they who they may be, whether M. P.’s, or J. P.’s, or P. C.’s.
Well then in the fust place, I don’t see, and none of my Paytrons don’t seem to see, that we wants any Reform at all.
I quite agrees with the extinguished Common Councilman who made that truly grate speech the other day, in which he said, “I loves the grand old Corporation as I loves my own! Don’t touch a brick of it! Don’t change the name of the Firm! Somejpeople talks about abuses, then why the deuce don’t they pint ’em out ? ”
Ah, it taint every day we gits speeches like that, more’s the pity. It amost brort tears in my eyes as I red it.
But if there is to be a change, let us see what’s best to be done.
Well then the 1st. thing the Copperation wants is more money. More money means more Horspitality, more Horspitality means more Poppylarity, and more Poppylarity means more Power.
I’m afraid the Copperation’s a gitting poor. I offen sees ’em dining without no Turtil, and that I calls one of the saddest sights I ever sees. It don’t seem natural, and if they ’re a goinp to be what some folks calls egocomical, but which I oalls mean, I think they are beginning at the wrong end. Besides, who’d oare for a Copperation that didn’t spend its money freely. Money makes the Maro to go, and no Lord Mare oould go far without it.
In the nex place they wants more Dignity. More splendid Sherifs, more scarlet Aldermen, moro gorgeus Footmen, more Swordbearers and Macebearers, and suoh like useful persons, and more brazen Men in Armour. Those are what strikes the Mob with Haw! and raises the smile of pride in every true Citizen’s manly busom.
In the nex place they wants moro Currage. Let ’em laugh at
what’s called Public Opinion, and the ignerent Press, and the wulgar Rabbel, and do as they likes. Look how everybody abused the butiful Griffin, where are they now, and where is it now i They are nowheres, and he’s where he was, and where he will ever remain for the delite and admiration of Posteriority.
I don’t see myself that there would be much objection to ’em taking in Westminster. Its a werry respeotable place is Westminster, and got plenty of money, but, as I herd one of our oldest Deputys say, I sets my face against having anything to do with such a poor lot as Bethnal Green and Aokney; no, not at any price. We ain’t got many poor of our own, and they are gitting thinner and thinner, so we don’t mean to be bothered with other people’s, not if we can help it.
So they wants to make all the Streets of London alike, do they P All like Cheapside I suppose ! P’raps they .’d like to make all the houses alike too, one’s about as likely as the other. Why when I was having a drink the other day with one of the Inspectors, he told me it costs about £700 a year to keep the Ashfelt pavement of Cheapside nice and smooth. I wonder how they’d like that sort of thing, say in Whitechapel Road, if they had to pay for it ?
, What a deal of fuss too they make about the Water. I can always f
it quite as much as I wants for washing, it doesn’t take much, and don’t suppose it can be wanted for any other puppus, except of course for Prisoners and Workusses, poor fellows!
The whole question seems to me to be somethink like this.
Here’s the old City, with its grand old Copperation, and its grand old Gildhall, and its Lord Mare and Sheriffs, and its old Charters, whatever they may be, and its own Police, each weighing about 14 Stun, and its lots of money; well and good. And outside and all
round it there’s a lot of poor devils of Westrys, all as hungry as hunters, who ain’t got no Copperation to speak of, and no Lord Maro and no Sherryifs, and no Police of their own, and no gorgeus Footmen, and, wust of all, no money.
And the one haim and hobjeot of Munecipal Reform is to enable these outsiders, without paying one shilling for ’em, to get a share of all these pood things that the City has had for Sentrys, and paid twenty shillings in the pound for, and has as much right to, as the House of Lords has to its Wheato !
If sitch things as these is to be aloud, then I says with the hindignant Cabman when he was told as how as Penny Saveloys was raised to tuppence, “ It’s quite time then as we had a sanguinary Revolution! ” Ro debt.
(Whispers in the Senate House.)
“Hi! I say ! I’m a Married Man, with Six Children. For Mercy’s sake what is the English for Etiamt”
POET’S CORNER.
Or Nonsense Rhymes on well-known Names.
{Sunderland Library Sale.) Says Techener to Huaritch,
“ I yield as you’re more rich.” Says (iUARiTCii to Techener,
“You ’re not a good reck’ner.”
{From the Irish Bench.) Says Barry to Morris,
“ The Land League a bore is.” Says Morris to Barry,
“ It’s playing Old Harry.”
{A recent Election. By a Sup-porter.) Says Derry to Porter,
“ We’ve done what we oughter.” Says Porter to Derry,
“ Yes, let us he merry! ”
At the Pavilion.
“Pour liqueurs of Kimmel” was the order. Great crowd, and consequent delay. “ Waiter ! ” The Waiter was of a musical turn, and taking advantage of an interval between the clever conjuring entertainment
and Arthur Roberts’s “ Merry Family,” sang out, appropriately, “The Kimmels are coming ! ” But he didn’t add, “ Oh dear, oh dear ! ” as the price was as usual.
a nutshell notice.
The Author of that very funny article in the Temple Bar Magazine for October, called “ A Capital Farce for Snoole,” has scarcely succeeded in producing a capital
Comedy for Jephson at the Imperial.
ROBERT ON MUNICIPAL REFORM.
As many persons who nose no more about it than I do about the Irish Land Bill, seems to be torking and writing a lot of nonsense about the Reform of the Copperation, praps a few eyedears from one as nose a great deal, from beinp pretty offen, it not behind the scenes, certainly behind their chairs, may be of sum service; and I hereby presents ’em with my complemens free gratis for nothink, to Mr. Gladstone, who lecturod us all so sewerely at Gildhall the other day, coz we didn’t give him no dinner, to Sir W. Arcoijrt, who had the owdaeious imperance to chaff even a Sherrif, and on Lord Mare’s Day too, to Sir Arthur Chophouse, to Mr. Bottomless Froth, and to Mr. Hashem Bilk, and all such people, be they who they may be, whether M. P.’s, or J. P.’s, or P. C.’s.
Well then in the fust place, I don’t see, and none of my Paytrons don’t seem to see, that we wants any Reform at all.
I quite agrees with the extinguished Common Councilman who made that truly grate speech the other day, in which he said, “I loves the grand old Corporation as I loves my own! Don’t touch a brick of it! Don’t change the name of the Firm! Somejpeople talks about abuses, then why the deuce don’t they pint ’em out ? ”
Ah, it taint every day we gits speeches like that, more’s the pity. It amost brort tears in my eyes as I red it.
But if there is to be a change, let us see what’s best to be done.
Well then the 1st. thing the Copperation wants is more money. More money means more Horspitality, more Horspitality means more Poppylarity, and more Poppylarity means more Power.
I’m afraid the Copperation’s a gitting poor. I offen sees ’em dining without no Turtil, and that I calls one of the saddest sights I ever sees. It don’t seem natural, and if they ’re a goinp to be what some folks calls egocomical, but which I oalls mean, I think they are beginning at the wrong end. Besides, who’d oare for a Copperation that didn’t spend its money freely. Money makes the Maro to go, and no Lord Mare oould go far without it.
In the nex place they wants more Dignity. More splendid Sherifs, more scarlet Aldermen, moro gorgeus Footmen, more Swordbearers and Macebearers, and suoh like useful persons, and more brazen Men in Armour. Those are what strikes the Mob with Haw! and raises the smile of pride in every true Citizen’s manly busom.
In the nex place they wants moro Currage. Let ’em laugh at
what’s called Public Opinion, and the ignerent Press, and the wulgar Rabbel, and do as they likes. Look how everybody abused the butiful Griffin, where are they now, and where is it now i They are nowheres, and he’s where he was, and where he will ever remain for the delite and admiration of Posteriority.
I don’t see myself that there would be much objection to ’em taking in Westminster. Its a werry respeotable place is Westminster, and got plenty of money, but, as I herd one of our oldest Deputys say, I sets my face against having anything to do with such a poor lot as Bethnal Green and Aokney; no, not at any price. We ain’t got many poor of our own, and they are gitting thinner and thinner, so we don’t mean to be bothered with other people’s, not if we can help it.
So they wants to make all the Streets of London alike, do they P All like Cheapside I suppose ! P’raps they .’d like to make all the houses alike too, one’s about as likely as the other. Why when I was having a drink the other day with one of the Inspectors, he told me it costs about £700 a year to keep the Ashfelt pavement of Cheapside nice and smooth. I wonder how they’d like that sort of thing, say in Whitechapel Road, if they had to pay for it ?
, What a deal of fuss too they make about the Water. I can always f
it quite as much as I wants for washing, it doesn’t take much, and don’t suppose it can be wanted for any other puppus, except of course for Prisoners and Workusses, poor fellows!
The whole question seems to me to be somethink like this.
Here’s the old City, with its grand old Copperation, and its grand old Gildhall, and its Lord Mare and Sheriffs, and its old Charters, whatever they may be, and its own Police, each weighing about 14 Stun, and its lots of money; well and good. And outside and all
round it there’s a lot of poor devils of Westrys, all as hungry as hunters, who ain’t got no Copperation to speak of, and no Lord Maro and no Sherryifs, and no Police of their own, and no gorgeus Footmen, and, wust of all, no money.
And the one haim and hobjeot of Munecipal Reform is to enable these outsiders, without paying one shilling for ’em, to get a share of all these pood things that the City has had for Sentrys, and paid twenty shillings in the pound for, and has as much right to, as the House of Lords has to its Wheato !
If sitch things as these is to be aloud, then I says with the hindignant Cabman when he was told as how as Penny Saveloys was raised to tuppence, “ It’s quite time then as we had a sanguinary Revolution! ” Ro debt.